Day 0: Fat

Fat. There, I've put the word right there. I can't avoid it anymore.

I've started this blog by confronting the very thing I've avoided for the past 30 years of my life. I'm fat. Not pleasantly plump, not husky, not big boned and most certainly not healthy. I am overweight and it's time to do something about it. Over the past year I've worked out, hard, but at the same time I've eaten horribly and drank way too much. This has not helped me in my goal of being thin and beautiful and thus wanted by the same sex. Oh yeah, I'm a homosexual too and let me tell you it's impossible to be wanted in the gay world when you're almost 300lbs. (Yes I know about bears and chubs but a good chaser is hard to find, ha.)

So that brings us to the next thing. My number. My weight. It hangs over my head everyday like a constant reminder of how I have wasted so much time. That number is 280. That's right, 280. This is a bad number unless you're about 7ft tall or an extreme body builder. I am neither.

Therefore my goal in 6 months will be to bring this number down to 180. A crisp, cool, thin and beautiful 180. This is the number that will restore my confidence and my health. This is the number that will erase my severe depression and prevent me from self medicating with vodka and diet soda every weekend until I blackout. This is the number that will allow me to go into stores that do not have names that end in XL or "& Tall" and actually buy something off a rack that is both gorgeous and not the color black. This is the number that will turn me into a dapper gentleman who wears vests and button down shirts to the movie theater or to get my oil changed.

Now, for the plan. For the past year I've made sweet love to an elliptical machine 5 days a week. When I first started using the elliptical I could go about 2 minutes at the most minimal resistance before hitting the showers. However each day that 2 minutes turned into 3 minutes and then 10 minutes and then a year later I can do an hour on the machine at level 7. However, it's not enough, not nearly enough. So I'm going to become a jogger. A marathoner. A runner. Tomorrow is the first gym day where I implement my plan. 30 minutes on the elliptical and then as many minutes as possible jogging at 3.5MPH without stopping. Each day I'll report how long I used the elliptical, what resistance and then how long I jogged and at what speed. I hope eventually to completely displace the elliptical with 1 hour of jogging at 5MPH or faster each day.

I'll also report what I eat and drink. No more delivery pizza, no more tasty breakfast sandwiches, no more fast food and most certainly no more diet soda or vodka. The last part will be the hardest because I seriously love vodka. I would marry vodka if I knew it wouldn't be such an abusive husband.

So this will be my log of this new adventure. This will be where I pour my heart out everyday and carefully document what I'm consuming and how I'm exercising. I'm going to be honest with you because I have to be honest with myself. If I fuck up and eat ice cream, you'll know. If I break down and skip a day at the gym, you'll know. I hate breaking promises to myself and I'm done lying to myself. That should keep the fuck ups to a minimum.

Here he go.

Day 0: 181 days til goal.
Weight: 280 lbs.